Posted in dealing with unemployment

Should Fake Work be this Stressful?

This is where I question whether a power suit and a sharpie can fix everything

My two fake bosses want to have a fake meeting with me and I’m nervous, really nervous. I’ve had knots in my stomach for days mainly because I’ve no idea what the hell the meeting is for.

But I know they’re expecting something from me. One of them keeps coming over and reminding me about it and asking about my overall objectives and where I am in my tactical plan for the company.

So far I’ve come up with this:

  • Overall objective- to complete 6 weeks work placement without getting fired.
  • Indicators- that I’ve accomplished this will be when I don’t have to come in anymore.
  • Tactics-turn up everyday until I no longer have to.

I’m wondering if that would look better in a word document.

I’m tempted to go for the Allen Gregory approach in which case I will need

  1. White Board with a large and small circle drawn on it
  2. Long pointing stick ( the kind teachers used to use)
  3. A power suit (Dallas style-lose the perm but keep the shoulder pads)

Without saying a word I’ll get up and point to the large circle with the stick and say

this is all the money in the world and this

(pointing to other circle)

is your business

( Back to bigger circle) ‘AND THIS IS WHAT WE’RE GOING TO ACHIEVE‘.

Obviously I’ll really need to sell it at the end there. Maybe introduce music.

So 5. Bring power ballad CD

 

 

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