I saw a job advertised the other day and thought I know this job, I could be good at this job. I felt certain this was the one for me and I know what you’re thinking, it’s not like the other times, I swear. This one’s for real, I can feel it. I went over my entire job history. Putting down anything that resembled what they were looking for. I felt like Keanu Reeves at the beginning of the Matrix when he was waiting for that mysterious man at the door with the two pills or in my case a missed call from an unknown number. By the time I’d finished with the application I was mentally exhausted. Reading people’s mind is not as easy as Darren Brown makes it out to be. And then I read you could send in a C.V. as well. Does that mean they want a CV or they don’t want one? That would require more hours of work and basically repeating what I put on the application form. But maybe that’s their screening process.
Maybe anybody who doesn’t send in a CV is instantly pushed aside as being lazy for not having enough gumption. Do I have Gumption? Do they want gumption? I decided to just send my precious application with no CV. Perhaps ballsy is what they’re looking for more. Perhaps they want me to read between the lines after all why have an application if they in fact want a CV. I’m finally ready to send the application when it occurs me what do I do about the essential cover letter. Do I just put it in the email? Do I attach a separate cover letter which of course means I would also need an attention grabbing email to lead them to the cover letter that brings them to the precious application? I don’t know why she swallowed the fly perhaps she’ll die. I finally email it in. I set it free. I felt certain it loved me enough to come to me. I handed it over to the gods or at least a man named Derek in small caps. I felt relieved. I had agonised over this for a week and a half and finally I had my evening back to enjoy. Call me Derek for the love of all that is Holy call me or at the very least send me a rejection email.